sue123's Cancer Blog
August 26, 2007
| hold on tight Heather..as we are trying to do too | Views: 2502 |
My friend Heather wrote this on her site today and I think most of us feel the exact the same way. She is a young women with 3 young children, one being handicapped. As she writes: “Whatever Lord”..................
Im sitting here, trying to think about how to put my heart into words, but the only thing that comes out is “Whatever, Lord.â€
Lord,
Whatever you need to do, do it. Give me the grace and the strength to fight this, because right now I have none of both. I don’t want to do this anymore, I don’t want to feel sick and tired anymore. I am so sick of being sick. If this is what I will feel like for the next year, you have to give me the strength to combat this, because I can’t do this on my own strength. I know you have a plan, and your plan is perfect, but does it have to be so hard? Does it have to be so tiring, draining, so endless? I know you love me, I know that… but right now I need to feel it. I need to feel your hand on my heart, your touch on my soul. You promised you would never leave me, and I believe that, I really do.
So when I say “Whatever Lord†…I truly mean it. Just give me the strength and the grace to face the “Whatever†that is headed at me, that is all I ask.
If you choose to remove this thorn, that would be great, but if you don’t, I ask that you would give me the strength and grace to suffer through the pain. I fear tomorrow, I fear going back on chemo and feeling this way all over again. I fear the lack of appetite and the nausea and the vomiting. I fear the lack of control. That is what it all boils down to, isn’t it? Lack of control.
Yet you tell me in your word that You will help me:
For I am the LORD, your God, who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, Do not fear; I will help you. -Isaiah 41:13
You tell me that when I listen to you, you will protect me:
But whoever listens to me will live in safety and be at ease, without fear of harm. -Proverbs 1:33
You tell me that you are my confidence:
For the LORD will be your confidence and will keep your foot from being snared.-Proverbs 3:26
You tell me you will give me rest… I so desperately want to rest in you right now:
The Lord has given you rest from your sorrow and pain and from your trouble and unrest and from the hard service with which you were made to serve-Isaiah 14:3
So I cling to these verses, as I face next weeks chemo. I give what little control I have held onto, over to you and say…..
“Whatever, Lord.â€
hold on tight Heather..as we are trying to do too, 
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08.16.08 - 
Thanks for your support -